an as yet unfinished alphabet

A is for asparagus and apricots and aubergines
B is for beetroot and broccoli
C is for cabbages, carrots, cauliflower, celery and cucumbers
D is for date
E is for endive
F is for fruit and fennel
G is for garlic and grapefruit
H is for herbs
I is for iceberg lettuce
J is for jerusalem artichoke and juniper berries
K is for kale and kohlrabi
L is for leeks and lemon and lettuce
M is for marrow and mangetout and mushroom
N is for nectarine
O is for okra and olives and onions
P is for parsnips and peas and peppers and potatoes
Q is for quince
R is for radishes
S is for spinach and swede and sweetcorn
T is for turnips and tomatoes
U is for uglifruit
V is for vegetables
W is for watermelon

X is for xylocarp*

Y is for yucca (not a description of my cooking)
Z is for zucchini
.

(*which, technically, is cheating, as these are supposed to be things I might be able to grow and then eat, before they migrate: but who's quibbling?)
.

*
why is that completeness,
even with minor imperfections,
is sometimes more satisfying than incompleteness?
..
is it because perfectness is over-rated?
or because we are trained
(well I was) from childhood
to not leave things unfinished?
.

all answers gratefully recieved. . .
..
my issue is that I was brought up to achieve
perfectness
and
completeness
so the fruit and vegetable alphabet really really bothers me:
it can be neither one thing, nor the other

empty headed

apart from describing my (horrible) dream in very vivid detail (a fate I will spare you, dear reader, from), I have no clue what to write about this morning (which is a little worrying, because usual I suffer from the opposite issue)

I don't know if this is an effect of The Treatment, or the fact I've been cooped up in a hospital for well over a week now. . .

. . .I haven't even got a toon going around in my head

BOO-HOO

what is a girl to do?

(no, seriously - what is a girl to do? even one aged 44)

ages and ages ago KAZ tagged me. . .

5 things I always WANTED:

to be able to stand up on a surf board. . .
.

. . .to own a wet suit,
to be loved by and in love with
the same person at the same time,
to orgasm thru penetration,
to have friends who don't dump me
when I make a mistake

5 things I'm currently INTO:

ECT, buffing my nails. . .

. . .baklava, ice-cubes shaped like guitars, denial

5 favourite things in my ROOM:

(what this room? I'll struggle!)

a box of Twinings English Breakfast tea bags,
the remains of a packet of Bassett's liquorice allsorts
(altho I've eaten the jelly ones, and the pure liquorice ones,
so I'm working my ways thru the coconut ones now)my toes,
my laptop & newly acquired
Orange Internet Everywhere gizmo

5 things in my BAG:

fags, lighter, gum, sudoku puzzles. . .
.
. . .a pen

5 people to TAG:

zigz (a young witch), malc (a fledgling pig-farmer), gordie (an esteemed academic), vicus (a seasoned commuter), dave (a removals specialist), craig (a gorgeous american), shot (a musical vicar)

locked out

I'm in the pub down the bottom of the road

no, really. . .

I am!
.

I am in a pair of grey socks, no shoes
my painting jeans and an old t-shirt. . .
.

I have no money, no house keys and no mobile phone
(hence no phone numbers to call anyone)
.
(and no fags)

I have been painting Smallest Person's room (blue) and needed to put some rubbish out (what this had to do with painting the room, I have no idea) (perhaps that was my mistake) (getting side-tracked) and popped downstairs and put the bag of rubbish out. . .

. . .and the front door slammed shut!

The Teen is alseep in his room (he was out last night and didn't come back until lunchtime) (I didn't ask) and Middle One took the opportunity to slip in and play on some console or other

neither of them have heard me shouting thru the letterbox, neither of them heard me ringing on the door bell or knocking on the door; I've borrowed the pub phone to call them, but our home phone is on the ground floor and the boys' rooms are in the gods (don't know their mobile numbers, but their phones won't be switched on) (barely remembered our new house phone number, if truth be told)

I had to have the locks changed for the house insurance, and have not lodged a set with a neighbour (haven't got a spare set yet) or hidden the one spare key somewhere clever; there is no way of breaking and entering into the house; window locks on all windows; no access at the back. . .
.

I'm at a loss
.

I sat on the front step for about half an hour
before coming down here!

now, if SP were around, she'd have wondered where I was after about twenty minutes and I'd be back in the warm again (she's not); but the boys can exist without me for hours on end

until pangs of hunger stir them into some kind of action

thank goodness I made friends with the barlady and the landlord!
free coffee and a comfy sofa and use of their internet
.

until I work out what to do next

dates

. .
in the old house, the family house, we used to have parties. . . one of my former friends referred to it as The Party House
.
we (it's odd, not being a "we" anymore) (dunno if that's a good odd or a bad one, it just takes a little getting used to) had various parties: birthday parties for people of all sorts of sizes as well as the POVS (new acronym for my Small People, given that one has been inches taller than I for a long time, the next is almost as tall already and the smallest getting taller by the day) (People Of Various Sizes) (a little like the ROUS in The Princess Bride), New Year's Eve parties, drinks parties, dinner parties, spontaneous "come over for Sunday lunch" parties, the occasional after-gig party. . .
.
I used to cook and entertain, enjoyed planning and preparing for people's arrival, just being able to cope on the spot and rustle something up from nothing and then be a Hostess with quite a lot of Mostess (how Abigail, *cringe*)
.

don't really do much of that now,
none at all actually,
and I kinda miss it. . .

.
but then again, none of the friends who came to those parties (apart from ONE) (well, TWO, actually) (you know who you are!) keeps in contact with me anymore - they are all still safely in Their Village and I am a couple of postcodes away. . .
.
yesterday Patrick (CBD) (Current Blind Date) (yes! I had another date) asked me if I was going to have a "moving in party" for the new abode and to be perfectly honest I'd be at a loss for whom to invite
.

that doesn't make me sad
.

it doesn't hurt

.
it's a reflection of the choices I made and the responsibility I have taken and where I find myself - the POVS are very nostalgic for elements of the old days (unsurprisingly) and often talk about the various parties and remember things like a window that was broken, the purchase of the patio heater, crisps trampled into carpet and Ribena boxes trodden on and juice squirting up the walls and dancing with grown-ups in the small hours and food that miraculously appeared as if from nowhere to feed a multitude of sudden and unexpected arrivals and splendid birthday cakes and such
.

those are the memories of childhood, eh

.
and the parties will be a memory I carry with me for the duration, altho perhaps I will find myself once again in the position of having parties - but that means making new friends. . .
.
. . .meeting new people is strange - when you have no history, little in common apart from a mutual friend (or two) and a similarity of circumstance and perhaps an interest (or three)
.

so, learned people -
how does one do it?
.
how do you date again,
having been part of a "we"
and then finding yourself
a single "I"

..
it's not the same as last time I was single - as a Teen, as someone in their 20's full of the confidence and brashness of youth. . .
.

it's difficult, perplexing, confusing. . .

.
more so than I had imagined; far more difficult than preparing one of my most favoured edible items to serve at a party:
.
take a date, remove the stone, fill with chicken liver pate, wrap in proscuttio and pop in hot oven for five mins, serve
.
and the other most favoured edible item? these chocolates (if I offered you one, or in craig's case lots, what would your choice/s be?)
.

and I'll cry if I want to

you are invited to a party chez moi today. . .

RSVP

(and fill in my poll while you're at it!) (and yes, that includes that whole bunch of you at the back, shuffling in and out not saying much) (I'll mention no names) (but if you're the lurker from Credit-Suisse - why don't you come along and introduce yourself. . .??)

party planning - so, who's bringing what then!

(apart from the items in the sidebar)

I'll do the party-bags and the washing up (cos those are my favourite bits)

music suggestions would be more than welcome. . .

are you really OK with fancy dress or would you rather do party hats, or masks, or face paints?

I have a plan for the venue (anyone afraid of heights?)

there will be snacks, but it's not a sit-down dinner - so please eat before you come

*scratches head*

what else do we need
for a really great party?

your suggestions are very very welcome - it's your night too

the lurker from Credit-Suisse can bring some chocolate or a cuckoo clock perhaps (we'll need to know when it's midnight, so I don't turn into a pumpkin) (and if you're coming from Manhattan, my Zabar's mug is broken, so can you get me another? I'll pay you back!)

now, I don't want pressies, cos I hate surprises - so if you're feeling flush just make a donation to your favourite charity, alright, or buy your local hobo or bag-lady some fags and a coffee. . .

(since there, but for the grace of g*d, go I)

any suggestions for a tune today people?

I'm feeling a little blank

shopping?

when XCH left we split our accumulated possessions

he got the wedding cutlery, I got the wedding dinner service; needless to say, I don't have dinner parties anymore so the posh stuff is still boxed up in the cellar. . .

he got the decent wine glasses, I got the ordinary wine glasses; I don't drink, so the ordinary wine glasses are still boxed up in the cellar. . .

we divided the everyday plates and glasses between us; he bought some new everyday glasses and some new plates, the children and I have been using the plates and glasses I brought here and they are all becoming a little worse for wear. . . (I'm thinking of investing some of his hard earned money in some new everyday plates and glasses)

I got the wedding saucepans (which I'd never liked), he bought some new ones (of which I am very envious). . .

we were given everything on our wedding list when we married, because the list was very minimal and we didn't have many people coming to our wedding: decent dinner service, decent posh cutlery and a set of Le Creuset saucepans (oh, and a fondue pot). . .

so, if I go out and but some new stuff what ought I do with the posh dinner service (barely used, but no longer my choice of dinnerware should I ever have another party again) and the (rather battered after almost sixteen years of heavy use and now going a little rusty, but still perfectly functioning) Le Creuset saucepans?

(and should I bother taking the ordinary wine glasses with me, seeing as how I don't drink?)

and what are we gonna do. . .

. . .twenty questions!!

when hope is dashed

so, apparently, XCH had a chat with The Teen about The Teen's surly attitude. . .

now I totally accept this ("the attitude"), as I was a little surly as a teen - I hated my father and my mother wasn't very nice to me (which is why I was only a little bit surly - I wasn't allowed to go whole hog on the self indulgence that a lot of teens seem to be struck with) (I made up for it later tho) and I guess I had all those teenage hormones and - being a girl - PMT to contend with (which, The Teen, being a boy, doesn't) (but still)

but the point of the chat (I had thought) was not to tell The Teen off for being a surly teen, but to say some other stuff: it seems the other stuff didn't get said - don't shoot the messenger, try not to mix the messages up in the delivery, yadda yadda, it seems what was said by XCH was not quite from the right angle. . .

anyhow

last night he (The Teen) and I were having a minor contretemps and he burst out with "you and dad and The Tunesmith have RUINED my life"

my eyes more than watered

is it this one, dave?

Phares dans la Tempete, la Jument
Jean Guichard

cos that's the one I have, but I'd like this one too:

I'm putting this towards the top again. . .

. . .not to confuse dave, but because the results are so amusing and make me smile! (especially malc's cover art)
.
.

gordie sends me a meme
(it's fun!) (try it)

my band name:

Soñar no Cuesta Nada
.
our new album title:

Sensible Tokens
of Your Love

.
the cover art:

gordie's meme instructions as follows:

1. go to the Wikipedia "random article" page; the title of the article is your band name
   .
   
2. go to the very last quote on "random quotations"; the last four words of the last quote are your album title
   .
   
3. go to Flickr's "interesting photos from the last seven days" page; the third picture on the page is your album cover

desert island suitcase

so Smallest Person and I were in the car, and she asked me what I would put in a suitcase if I only had one suitcase of items to take to a desert island with me

it is a "magic suitcase" tho, or rather the items in it are "magic": because you could only put whatever you chose in the suitcase - an ordinary sized suitcase* - but that item would last forever and never run out. . .

*I'd say fourth or fifth down from the top

for example, if you put a bottle of cool refreshing water in, the bottle would never run out of water. . .
.

(don't know why she thought of desert island, it was trying so hard to snow yesterday that she might well have said the North Pole or basecamp at Mount Everest or a treehouse in an Amazonian rain forest) (but we'll stick with the desert island for the mo, shall we) (dunno about you, but I could do with the warmth and the sunshine)

(she also didn't know how she had come up with this idea, but used to play My Grandmother's Trunk a lot when they were little when we were on long car journeys and also Who Am I? so maybe her mind was just wandering and coming up with random thoughts) (have no idea where she gets that from)

I chose* my favourite photo of the children, a bottle of cool refreshing water, a tray of ice cubes, a chunky glass, my current medication, black mascara and purple eye-liner, spray on sun-tan lotion/after-sun, waxing strips and a razor, toothbrush and toothpaste, a parasol, my iPod, the most interesting book I have ever read, a kaleidescope, a sudoku pad and a biro, a sketch pad and some charcoal/pastels, a water melon and a pomegranite, a bag of very peppery nacho chips, a very large soft towel straight out of the laundry, a huge velvety blanket, a snorkel, kindling and a box of matches, a packet of marshmallows, a small telescope. . .

. . .a packet of fags and a lighter

I am smoking
far too much
at the moment
I need to cut down
and then quit

(she did ask why I hadn't included any clothes and what would I do when the rescuers turned up? I replied that they would be over joyed to see a beautiful woman wandering around naked waiting to be rescued from a desert island)

*I reserve the right to come back and add to this list should I remember what else I said!

.
happy Friday to you
.
(what's in your luggage?!)