Smallest Person had the day off school yesterday due to a teachers' training day, which I hadn't realised she was due to have when I arranged that yesterday would be the day I was going to meet my father. . .
The Teen (who was angling for the day off anyhow, as he's excited about the new house) then decided he would have to miss school to make sure I was OK about the whole "meeting my father" thing. . .
(Middle One said he'd rather go to school and not bunk off, thank you very much - clever boy)
so, rather than my father and I meeting - for only the second time since autumn of the year 2000 - alone, I had two of the three most precious people in my life with me
it was excruciatingly awful
that's all I'll say for now, (she writes, but then rabbits on a little anyhow) apart from the fact the lawyer phoned me at half ten to say the house was mine and the three of us were just about to go over and have a whoop and a holler and run about our new home and take photos of the view from the roof terrace, and my father wasn't due until "just before lunch" (which was going to be at one o'clock) when he turned up early. . .
.
really early. . .
really really early. . .
(just after the lawyer phoned)
(quite how I could have forgotten that as a child under his jurisdiction we always turned up everywhere two hours early, I do not know) (I kid you not) (not just about the "two hours early", that used to be pretty awful, but I also don't know why I'd forgotten that aspect of his character) (and we always had to leave early, as my mother used to say it was "impolite to overstay one's welcome") (FUCK IT - what's that Phillip Larkin poem about your parents?)
*deep breath*
he tried his hardest to take over proceedings, I tried my hardest to be an adult about it and not let my inner child cower before his "authority", not have my children feel he was their father and they had to cower. . .
.
he kept calling me Glenda
what took the biscuit was when the estate agent who sold me the house was handing over the keys to my new abode, and my father reached over to take them. . .
that was when I proactively drew on all my inner strength
and the learning from the past few years kicked in
. . .I have learned a lot in the past few years
anyhow
anyhow. . .
*relaxed breathing*
what else happened yesterday? someone I care about very very deeply said some very hurtful things about me. . .
*calm*
.
XCH flew back in from wherever he'd been on business and cycled over to the new abode a little later in the afternoon and got really excited about it and started suggesting masses of things I could do to it - really really good ideas! things I'd love to do! - I gave him a slightly withering look and reminded him that he was my current and only source of income and the budget I'm on might not quite stretch to the cosmetic delights he's suggesting seeing as I'm doing structural work (and have cushions to buy)
I think he has house envy actually, and wishes he had bought it instead of me. . . perhaps I should suggest we swap, and I'll live in his swanky flat with a view of the river!
The Teen, who was planning to stay with me "at home" yesterday evening, to keep me company, his idea not mine, he knew I was a little stressed out after my day, got the roundup call from his tribe and went out. . .
but, as they say, today is a new day. . .
and some more
of the good feelings
from MUSE .
(cos we all know, if it's good we want more, don't we!)
.
and on that basis
check out the horns in
this. . .
.
dontcha just love the way
they slip in the
James Bond theme tune chords. . .
I do!
