X

no, not the love and kisses kind of XXX - you know I send you those with every word that I write here (yes, even to the silent people lurking at the back). . .

not even an
X Marks The Spot X

(I do have a great Banksy image of one somewhere, but I can't find it right now)

the eXCHange kind. . . it occurred by the end of the month, as the sellers requested, so in mid-May I will own my own house*! (the first time I've owned a property in my own name since 1990) for those of you familiar with the English/Welsh legal system, you know what an effort it is; for those of you not, I won't bore you with the details (so you can breathe a sigh of relief)

if I was allowed bubbly in combination with my current medication, I'd be cracking open a huge bottle of Laurent-Perrier Rose (can't do the accented e either, shot) right now
.

but as it is, I'm not (but there is a Hubbly X instead!)

so I'll settle for a cup of tea instead (Twinings Afternoon if you want to know the minutiae of my life) (which I'm sure you don't) (or maybe you do, since you're reading this) (in which case, it's with a splash of milk and three sugars please)

*should have written "home" really, shouldn't I?

hope your Friday went as well
as could be expected

.now, where
did I put those Crunchies?

East, West

the traveller's palm

it is said that this plant (it's not actually a palm, but a member of the bird of paradise plant family, thus related to the delicious double oh seven and a half) grows in a certain orientation, thus aiding travellers in working out the direction of North. . .

apparently the leaves spread from east to west: so anyone who is lost who has also lost their compass, but remembers "never eat shredded wheat" from their childhood, will know where North is; and anyone who can just remember things without silly rhymes, similarly

mind you if you are lost without a map as well, perhaps knowing where North is won't help you a jot - in which case the plant collects rainwater in the stems of its leaves so you can have a much needed drink while you work out what to do next should you come across one

I myself didn't need a map or a compass to find my way home, as the pilot who flew SP and I back had a pretty good navigation system - but I am a lot further North now than I have been for the last week and it is good to be here. . .

I hope you are all well

I'm looking forward to catching up
with you soon

much love to you today

decor

so the new house, should I end up owning it, has a small breakfasting area in between the living room (there is no hall, you walk straight into the living room) and the kitchen (which runs across the back of the ground floor space, which is weird for a London Town house to have a kitchen running across the width of the house and thus no view of the people who back onto you) (however, this arrangement creates the small but private courtyard garden in between the kitchen, across the back, and the living room at the front, and the small breakfasting area to the side)

and in the breakfasting area there is a wall upon which I thought would be the near perfect place to hang my Hopper print

I have a "thing", you know one of those "things" that you have have*, about lighthouses and beaches and sand and sandcastles and mermaids and the sea and oceans and waves and seaweed and fish and flotsam and jetsam (*and this is only one of my "things", but I'll spare you the rest) (for the moment) and as such over the years I have found and purchased items of this nature and friends who know me well have bought me things of the same theme - you know, the usual girly stuff: a jug with an underwater scene, a mirror made of "found items" from the beach, a beautiful book about mermaids, a photo of an enormous wave crashing over a lighthouse, a ceramic lighthouse spaghetti holder (sounds horrible, but is gorgeous - made by someone who lives in Brighton) and my framed Hopper poster

anyhow, the other day I was thinking about how fed up I was with living in a house painted magnolia (rented houses are always painted magnolia and people always paint their houses magnolia before they sell them, so we had painted the last-house-but-one magnolia when we wanted to sell it, we never redid the paint in the old house after we moved in, which the previous owners had painted magnolia in order to sell it, so I've been living with magnolia for almost five years now) and how when the children were little, and living in the last-house-but-one, they loved the fact it was colourful

when we moved in I had painted the downstairs living space in the colourwash style that was so popular ten years ago and most of the kitchen was aqua, with one yellow wall and one pale brick red wall - and I thought in the new house, rather than painting the wall in the breakfast space blue and hanging the Hopper on it, I should paint the whole wall like the image on the print!

what do you think?

I'd have the detail in the bottom left hand corner of the wall (on the left as you walk thru) but make the sky much much bigger in proportion thus most of the wall space would be the colourwash sky, with a few of those streaky clouds - and the reason it would work is cos the breakfast area opens onto the courtyard garden (window and door to the right as you walk in from the main room) and the courtyard garden faces southeast - so the light shining in would be the right angle to light up the detail in the image - just as it does in the original!

:-)

and!!! I found this really cool site on the net which sells decals which you just paste up, so rather than doing fancy paintjobs on other walls or bothering with wall paper, I am going to purchase some weird and amusing shapes to stick to the walls. . .

and rather than invest in fancy lamps, I thought I'd do this!

anyhow, I'm sure you have more important things to do with your day, so I shall take my decorating thoughts back to the drawing board and let you get on with the slightly more important stuff of your life

have a good one!
.

post script for some reason
"decor" has won an award chez Australian David. . .
thanks David!

it must be really weird

being a Head Doctor

you meet someone when they are at their very worst - you have no idea what they are like as a well, functioning, able person, making decisions for themselves, in control of the controllable aspects of their lives (which for each of us vary enourmously from day to day, season to season, year to year), feeling emotions within the range of what is considered to be normal. . .

I had a conversation with him this week about what is "normal"

I guess for anyone not in the care of a psychiatrist, it varies along a spectrum as well as day to day etc etc

I don't know what yours is, altho from reading your blog I have a vague idea about what you feel comfortable discussing in the private/public arena that a blog is, if you see what I mean - and again, everyone varies on that side of things

it would be tediously dull if you and I were just the same all the time

it is of concern that sometimes you are down, just as I know you are concerned when I am

but I suppose reading and writing anything is within one of the ranges of "normal"

when CH took me to see the WWW on New Year's Eve I was well off the scale and had been for a while; because she understands my "normal", she knew I most certainly wasn't

so she very WISELY instructed him to take me to see my GP, who wasn't available until a couple of days later (I spent a couple of days in bed, doing nothing - not normal for me AT ALL) - even then my GP wasn't available, but it turns out I met someone who has turned out to be great; he, my new GP, in his turn, knew that CH wasn't able to look after me in that "not normal" state properly and so I met the Head Doctor

I suppose one of my fears about breaking up with CH was that there would be noone to look after me if I was ever ill

I suppose my main fear would be that I will become ill with cancer, as my mother did (altho I trust this time her original symptoms would be diagnosed in me far quicker than they were with her when they finally realised what was going on and gave her six weeks to live)

I suppose it didn't even occur to me that I would become depressed again, that I might not even handle the solitude of a season very well on my own

I supposed a lot of things

I digress

the Head Doctor in his wisdom told CH to drive me straight to The Hospital without passing GO and without collecting any percuniary reward whatsoever

I am very fortunate to have a CH with private healthcare, to have a CH (ex tho he is), to have a CH that cares, to have a CH who cares at all for that matter - privately, publically, healthily or unhealthily

he dragged me kicking and screaming (not literally, actually, but there was a lot of resistance and a lot of wailing going on!) into The Hospital

yadda yadda yadda

*thinks comforting thoughts about Holes and Hepworth*

so, this week, when the Head Doctor and I met altho I sat there sobbing for most of the time I think he recognised it as sobbing from one end of the spectrum of "normal" for someone who is rattling from all the marvellous medication I'm currently chucking down my throat at regular intervals during the day, but has benefitted from the advantageous advice he provides me with when I ring him up when I'm having a bad moment

the thin end. . .

. . .but it will thicken up

so CH is finally to become XCH, but since he is a excellent XCH he is going to buy the children and I a house to live in, rather than a small flat which is all I could afford on my own; it doesn't have a garden, ziggi and malc, but it has a rather sweet little courtyard where I can sit and snuggle with Small Person in my swing seat - perhaps even offer dash some cordial to go in a fizzy drink! - and a rather interesting roof-terrace where I will be at the same eye level as passing London Underground trains (on an overland bit!) and watch for Middle One and The Teen as they come home from school

I'm going to learn semaphore I think!