lemon bon-bons

just recently I've developed a bit of a thing for them

I don't munch the whole sweet, I just suck the fizzy bit on the outside; it's the equivalent - but opposite - of sucking the insides out of a sherbert lemon

if only there were an old fashioned corner shop that sold lemon sherbert powder, in paper bags, by the ounce. . .

everything is slightly topsy-turvy at the moment, as you could possibly imagine, so it's no surprise that I'm taking it out on some cheap confectionery

today I started sobbing twice, both occasions totally unexpectedly - the tears that refused to budge only a while ago flowing freely

do I feel any the better for it? I'm not sure. . .

and I going to miss being here? the view, yes; the sky, with certainty; the light, most definitely

to be honest, I'm trying not to think about it too much (not what I am going to miss, you understand, but the whole caboodle)

and the effect of that is that I can think of barely anything. . . (and I can't even express myself decently)

the juke-box in my head has almost ground to a halt again (hence the word ver providing this morning's "inspiration" - but then, that is what inspiration is! so why am I complaining?) and I'm also having trouble with my semantic recall: I put this down to stress (altho it's worryingly similar to the effects on my memory and brain function of the ECT sessions); I'm sure both the words and the songs will return sooner or later

in the meantime I'll just keep chatting away to myself, until I can work out what it is I want to say (and sing)

(but in my heart of hearts, I do know it is going to be alright. . . in the long run)