when really you ought to be asleep
"ought" is an odd word
suggesting actions one might (have) take(n): it's very similar to "must" and "should"
not necessarily within your comfort zone, but probably "good" things to do
there is a phrase "needs must", isn't there
XCH and I had eighteen months of "couple counselling" about three years ago. . . I think I've learnt more about him in the last six months than in all the 22 years that I've known him. . . more than in all those hours of talking all that time ago (and it does seem a long long time ago now). . . anyhow. . . perhaps he's changed - I think he has. . . (perhaps I listen now? perhaps I hear, too? maybe I didn't do either back then? I tried - I know I ought to still try now - my best - I always try my best). . . also, of course, we are not the near-children we were when we met. . . and, of course, we have children of our own. . .
and thank you for keeping me company tonight