if I only had a brain. . .

Though I appear a handsome man, I'm only stuffed with straw.'Tis difficult a man to plan without a single flaw. Though you might think my lovely head a store of lore contains, the farmer lack of skill displayed and quite forgot my brains. When brains are missing from a head, it's usually the rule that wisdom from the man has fled and he remains a fool. So though my charms are very great as I am well assured I'll never reach my full estate, till brains I have secured. Alas! for the man who has little in his noddle that he knows! He's under a ban and is called a rattle-pate where e'er he goes. He always does the very thing he never ought to do, he stumbles, and he fumbles, and is aimless. A lobster is he as anyone with half an eye can see, you can hear them jeer and sneer, for his wheels are out of gear - and it's plain he'll remain quite brainless. When first upon a man you gaze you think he must be filled with wisdom worthy of your praise, condensed and quite distilled. But when at last he starts to speak and only wags his jaw you then decide that he's a freak and merely stuffed with straw. Then the way some people act would lead you to suspect that they are brainless for a fact and shy on intellect. So 'tis a matter I deplore that in my cranium I can never any knowledge store, till brains I can supply! Alas! for the man, etc, etc. . .
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L FRANK BAUM