asking

for help
is not something I'm good at

in fact it's something I'm not good at, at all

wasn't able to as a child, didn't know there was any; wasn't able to as a teenager, there wasn't any; wasn't able to in my 20s/30s (altho lots of people relied on me for it - how is that? that the one not able to ask a friend for help becomes the friend who can always be relied upon to dish it out?) (I know there's an answer to that one, I'm just not sure what it is)

and as for my 40s, I haven't been able to ask as often as I've needed help - there's a bit of a chasm still

today was probably the Most Difficult Day I've had since I came out of the Head Clinic

I'm still here,
which is something
I suppose

I'm mainly only still here because everysingletime Mini-Teen has had a tricky time recently (she's had more than I've written about) (so many that I'm totally exhausted by her) I am so so so so glad that I am still here for her; everysingletime Teen Too has looked at me with that teen 'oh g*d mum, you're so embarassing' horror on his face, it a fascinating thought that he is growing up and finding his own way finally not in his brother's shadow and on his own terms and no mine and I'm honoured to be a witness to the process; and everysingletime The Teen walks in the door he shouts out hello? to check if I'm in and then proceeds to tell me how crap his day was and how everyone hates him but that's ok cos he hates them and what time is dinner and what is dinner and oh why? do we have to have that? can't we have something else? and oh by the way how was your day. . . I'm just glad he's speaking to me again

I'm also mainly only here because I did ask for help today and I received help. . . got thru a half a box of Kleenex getting it. . .

now my eyes are puffy
and I need my sleep

X

9 comments:

Mel said...

Ah--forever the helper....

I make it a habit to surround myself with people who'll call it as they see it, who care more about me and my life than they do about hurting my feelings or pissin' me off. They don't bother to wait on my asking. (cuz I'm not very practiced at that one, myself--though I'm told I'm better at it than I've ever been) They come with kleenex, dontchaknow--and they hear me.....and for some reason, I hear them.

(((((((( ILTV )))))))))

moreidlethoughts said...

Oh heck! I just stopped by to say I'd posted my little list...and I find you in need of a hug. Difficult at 10,000 miles, but have a cyber version.
You asked for, you received...and now things will improve.

Dave said...

It's another day. Fresh starts and all that.#

Good morning.

Mel said...

(((((((((((( ILTV ))))))))))))

Have I mentioned lately just how much I LIKE you?

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Just sayin'....

I, Like The View said...

I like you too Mel

good morning Dave

dinahmow thanks; hope so; I'll be over to take a peak asap

Mel lots of kleenex was involved

Z said...

Asking for help is also giving. You're trusting someone with a very vulnerable part of yourself. I'm so glad you received what you needed.

Sorrow said...

(((((Strength))))))
and light and love to you dear one.

I, Like The View said...

thanks sorrow, very much

and you too Z, thank you

XXX

mig said...

Hugs. Late but anyway I'm so so glad you asked and got.