here today, gone tomorrow

sorry, but I don't have it in me to be jolly

so please go away if you're fed up with my moaning (I know I am)
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did you go away yet? really, please do. . .
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please please do, cos I am about to use some very bad language, and I've already had to wash my mouth out with soap once today and don't want to have to do that again
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I'm in one of those places, during one of those times, where and when NOTHING I do or say is right

(not here and now, I mean it doesn't matter in the least what I write here, does it? you'll comment if you fancy, share wisdom if you have some, be quiet and go away if you don't have a view or don't give a shit: and all of that is fine - it's only a blog, for crying out loud)

so I have been doing my best, what is required and expected of me, holding my own at times of great stress, and saying NOTHING and still that is not right

I'm pretty f*cked off, actually

not pretty, actually

VERY F*CKED OFF

and I'm not good at it because I've never been good at being angry - I wish I could rant and rave and get it all off my chest - does anger, and do angry feelings, go away if you behave angry? do you feel better anyhow if you shout and scream? how is one supposed to deal constructively with anger

(no, that's not a question)

8 comments:

Rimshot said...

((((((I,LTV))))))

Moan, scream, yell, hit a pillow, whatever you fancy.

Vicus Scurra said...

Never mind, deary, it's probably the hormones. You'll feel better after you've done the washing up.

I, like the view said...

thanks for your concern vicus, you are so sweet, I've done some washing up and now I FEEL FINE!! how did you know that? years of tried and tested research yourself?(!)

("the" hormones? which ones would those be. . . actually, perhaps that's better left unanswered)

shot see - I'm not good at all that fancy stuff, when it comes to dealing with anger

Mel said...

Yaknow.....I have very clean cupboards and closets for a reason.




BTW--JUST for the record.

You're NOT always wrong.

EVER.


k.....

Just......sayin'....

And now I'm thinkin' *I* might go clean a cupboard or two....

I, like the view said...

thanks

x

katherine. said...

the cupboard cleaning doesn't help me much....

the ranting doesn't always help either...but I am better at it.

but it matters to me a bit what you write here...

Gordie said...

I know there's a lot that goes on on in your life that you don't write about here. But when you say "I have been doing my best, what is required and expected of me" I can't help but wonder whose requirements and expectations they are?

The last time I saw you, you were living alone, recovering (steadily but consistently) from what you had done to yourself, and you had the support of professional people, and your lovely new art project, and you were getting on okay with your family.

But today, you talk like you've been trying to get somebody to approve of you. This is a great opportunity for anger and resentment.

I'll go away now. Is Holland far enough?

I, like the view said...

gordie as you said, there's a lot I don't write about it

thanks for your thoughts and kind words

katherine "it matters": thank you