do I feel this way at the end of the week because I'm exhausted?

I'm exhausted for all the right reasons - "being there" for the children, doing some +ve things for myself, erm, that's all I've done so far this week and I'm absolutley shattered again; I'm glad I have no plans for this weekend, cos I'd be cancelling them if I did

so, if I'm exhausted for the right reasons, why do I feel so down? if I'm taking each morning, afternoon, evening, day, couple of days as they come - why do I feel that rising fear and panic and anxiety about the future still? why aren't there any answers to these questions?

11 comments:

Rimshot said...

$0.02 : Who says there aren't any answers to those questions? Who says those are the right questions?

We tend to 'see' (or 'find' if you prefer) what we are looking for (or focusing on, if you will).

Perhaps less wondering about why and more wondering about something other than why?

Or, perhaps I should just sod off and keep my $0.02 worth to myself.

I, like the view said...

no, don't sod off (that's such an English phrase) I know you're right

and I totally get the intellectual requirement to shift my perspective, it's just the emotional stuff that's stuck

it's a little like Etching

I don't have a fresh plate, I have the plate I have and what is etched onto it is etched onto it, deeply and significantly

two years ago I didn't expect that - I thought I'd be starting with a fresh plate

but I'm not

Anonymous G said...

((((((iltv))))))

katherine. said...

exhausted for these reasons...better than for previous reasons...yes?

I am always lookin' for answers too...

sigh.

what was that song..."hands across the water....hands across the sea" ??

Mel said...

Great.....now I'm humming...

End of the week comes and I'm left with my own company.
That about says it all, eh?

Mel said...

Wanna write more....

Be grateful I'm runnin' this morning?

Roofers!!!! Woooohooooo!!!!!!!

Rimshot said...

I simply LOVE the etching plate analogy. GENIUS!!!

You can't unetch what has come before, so you can either add bits where you think there should be bits or leave alone the areas you think don't need bits. BRILLIANT!

Of course, the tricky part is knowing when the piece is finished (which is kind of where the analogy breaks down, since we don't get to choose when our plate is 'full' (see what I did there?)...let me repeat the important bit: WE DON'T CHOOSE WHEN...(ahem).

So, there's me stating the obvious.

Here's another $0.02. Thank you.

Mel said...

Some of the most beautiful etchings are those of picture within picture within picture, dontcha think?

I do.

I might not get to go back to change what's already on the plate, but I sure can make decisions on what picture will be etched over it...and over that....

Personally, I think that's an awesome thing.


Don't give me too much time to think, eh?
We all know Mel goes to strange places with too much think time. So, exhausted as I might find myself at times, I'm still moving, still putting one foot in front of the other, putting my hands in tills and staying available for others. Cuz.
I've grown wiser for it--stronger for it.....and really....truth be told, it completes me.
Odd, how that works--

(((((((( ILTV ))))))))))

I, like the view said...

you're a beautiful "etching", from my view, mel

I just didn't expect some of my lines to run so very very deep

maybe in the long run that will be a good thing - shallow lines after 22 years would be strange, eh

and you are so right, the both of you, picture upon picture and greater depth and detail is a full life

just as an aside: my beginner etchings are very simple at the moment - and I like the clarity and graphicness of tha,t for learning purposes with regard to the techniques (a little how the first thing we learnt in bookbinding was making a simple plain notebook with empty pages), but the work done by some of the artists (note "artists", not sutdents!) in the class - with layer upon layer of detail and using so many varied and different techinques to etch their plates to great depth - produce the most gorgeous images

and shot, you are so right: we don't get to choose when we're finished (unless one gives up, as I tried to do earlier this year, and we all know that doesn't work, eh) and as mel said, it's step by step by exhausted step, because where we are now is only the circumstances of today

not our destination

I, like the view said...

mel sometimes I really need you to write more, because what you write is so valuable to me

but perhaps that is a little selfish of me

katherine these are probably better reasons, you are right - I need to hold that thought

g I needed a hug: thank you

Mig said...

Just (((((((((((( I )))))))))))))
Other people have said wise things.