so I'm back again, for the last few days. . .

one more zappy session on Tuesday and then I think they are going to let me go home on Wednesday

it's emptied my brain, I can tell you, this treatment - haven't had a tune for days, can't think of a thing to write - not like me at all

and the other weird thing is that it's mucked up my facial recognition software - I recognise everyone, everywhere: I'm walking down the street and everysingleperson who walks past me looks familiar

they aren't - I mean, I don't know them from Adam, but in my head they look familiar


and my memory's gone pear-shaped, my children think it's hysterical

I was told that all this will sort itself out after a few weeks, but in the meantime, it's very odd being me

an empty head, no music, no thoughts, but no strangers either


Gordie said...

I'd like you to trust the process you are in.

It sounds like you still have the capacity to see and recognise what's real (especially people) but the treatment has hosed down the part of your brain that used to judge and criticize and interpret.

You are living in the Now, now. You can still love and enjoy in your current state, but it's a lot harder to hate or fear.

Stay with it. Everything important will find its way back to you. Enjoy your children's laughter. Enjoy being loved.

Mel said...

The music part you can work with today--slip in a CD and give a listen.
I say you listen to a bit of Kate Rusby (cuz I am this evening!)
But Gordie said it'll return. And in the meantime, enjoy what's present for all that it is.

mig bardsley said...

Kate Rusby, mmmm:)
You sound pretty much still like you though. And maybe you have some space to put new things in? Like the house and the flowers.