as much as I love knowing what's going on in other people's heads, sometimes it is interesting going with a train of thought to see where it takes you, rather than being distracted by other people. . .
rather than just listening to
and responding to what a person said,
and perhaps that explains one of the reasons why I find blogging with images and sounds as well as words so great (shame we can't do scratch and sniff screens, really isn't it - right now I think the scent wafting towards you would be a reassuring vanilla and coconut) (other times, it might be an invigorating but calming rosemary and lavender) and this (the researchers' further analysis of the common traits which expert communicators – whether top therapists, top executives or top salespeople – all seemed to share) is relevant too:
- everything they did in their work, was pro-active (rather than reactive), directed moment to moment by well-formed outcomes rather than formalized fixed beliefs;
- they were exceedingly flexible in approach and refused to be tied down to using their skills in any one fixed way of thinking or working;
- they were extremely aware moment by moment, of the non-verbal feedback (unconscious communication and metaphor) they were getting, and responded to it - usually in kind rather than by analyzing it;
- they enjoyed the challenges of difficult ("resistant") clients, seeing them as a chance to learn rather than an intractable "problem";
- they respected the client as someone doing the best they knew how (rather than judging them as "broken" or "working");
- they had certain common skills and things they were aware of and noticed, that were intuitively "wired in";
- they worked with precision, purpose, and skill;
- they kept trying different approaches until they learned enough about the structure holding a problem in place to change it.
(point five is excellent, isn't it)
the findings were summarized as follows: "You need only three things to be an absolutely exquisite communicator. We have found that there are three major patterns in the behavior of every therapeutic wizard we've talked to — and executives, and salespeople. The first one is to know what outcome you want. The second is that you need flexibility in your behavior. You need to be able to generate lots and lots of different behaviors to find out what responses you get. The third is you need to have enough sensory experience to notice when you get the responses that you want..."
(and that made me think of SHE for it was her who said I need to "think single" and do the things I used to do when I was single) (hence BD) (!)
but I digress
one of the things I was wondering on the back step, is why isn't it linguistic neuro programming? I studied pyscholinguistics at college, but seeing as I read Speech Sciences - which focused on language acquisition and communication development, covering neurology, semantics, linguistics - why wasn't the subject called linguisticpsycho. . .
. . .hence my initial image today!
this man has a lot to answer for, hasn't he?
anyhow, this is what sometimes happens when we're sidetracked by our interest in other people:
(one of the posters I have bought for the new house!)(about which, more later) (the house, not the poster or the artwork)
HAVE A GOOD DAY