if you are of a sensitive nature, look away now

so

since I've been gone (hold yourselves, don't burst into song just yet). . .

a short update


remember the eczema? the doc gave me some moisturising cream or other which I didn't want anyway, so I was really assertive (which makes a change) and got the hydro-cortisone which I did want; I had explained that the last time I had eczema was when my mother was dieing and moisturising cream hadn't worked then yadda yadda yadda

guess what it was replaced by? nits (gotta love Small People and their cuddles, eh) (you scratching yet?) (I am, just thinking about them) (but they are all gone now, you'll be pleased to know) (the nits, not the Small People)

the disastrous hair? did I even tell you I spent six and a half hours in the salon getting my home attempts "fixed". . . all washed out - back to a kind of orangutan orange (of which more to follow)

what else happened? well, while I was "away" I wasn't allowed tweezers or razors; today I had a bit of a sesh in the bathroom - full gory details follow, so if you haven't looked away now you only have yourself to blame. . .







(I did warn you)
(yes, you at the back lurking -
I know who you are)









. . .I have neither matching brow or collar or cuff or legs, people

grey pubes? I should be so lucky! white - white - white - whatever happened there?

if only the hairs on my legs were white, I might pass for a polar bear; as it is my legs look like a grizzly's (and I note nobody likes them!), my midriff (well, let's not go there, eh) (not quite yet, anyhow), the and the top bit I've covered already

orangutan/polar bear/unmentionable - not a great combination

but!! regarding the midriff, I thought I'd indulge myself. . .

I have never been to a beauty salon before - I mean, I used to know people who got their eye-brows waxed*

huh? exactly, that's what I thought; I used to live in a village where the LWL didn't know how to pluck their own brows - it's about the one girly thing I can manage (as long as I have a good pair of tweezers handy) (which I normally do) (and even tho I used to be a natural blonde, for some odd reason my brows are jet black)

(*but they don't know me anymore) (go figure)

I wasn't ever really a LWL, I might have been a WWL2M once upon a time (but no longer), and I did have a little massage when I was in La Belle France last summer, you may or may not recall. . . but I certainly didn't ever use to waste time or money in a salon (ziggi, sweetie, you are excepted from this slight slur, due to your nuptials 'n' all) (vicus, what's your excuse?)(dave?)

anyhow, back to my nether regions (or is it never regions?) - I'm going to book myself an appointment and get a Mexican Wave, I have decided!! or a Norwegian Nuance - or perhaps I'll go all Bruce Chatwin on you and get a Patagonian Plateau. . .

shall I report back?
or not

(that is not my latest "visitor poll", you'll be pleased to know)

8 comments:

Mel said...

Ack!

ACK!

*covering ears*
Wait!
*closing eyes*

THAT'S better!
*mumbling*
Yeah, yeah... You did give good warning....

TMI! But---Thanks for sharing.
I think......

;-)

No 'friends along for the ride', no waxing and no dying happenin' here...
*chuckling*
......and that's all that I have to share on those topics. LOL

Malc said...

Norwegian Nuance? Can't begin to imagine, but given what the weather is like over there....

One of the many good things about the kids growing up is the absence of nits.

dinahmow said...

Well, it's good to see you back. (thanks, Ziggi!)
Look, I only get time to scoot over here every other day, so you'll forgive me if I lose the thread sometimes...
Oh, and before any smarty makes cracks about dark-browed blondes...I'm one, too, and I have a demon backhand!
I expect creepies when school resumes in a couple of weeks!

Rimshot said...

I don't know what LWL or MML2W>T^2.09 is, but it sounds wonderful!

I simply love being primped and pampered. When I had hair, and when I had it cut or dyed I tried to make the event last as long as possible.

Maybe that's why I don't have hair now, God punished me for my vanity and lack of frugality.

mig bardsley said...

If you get a mexican wave, do you get the mexican to go with it?

Nits! Hah! Don't ask me about nits. I would have agreed with Malcolm except one of the kids had one of her own. Guess what we got :)

ziggi said...

sounds painful!

will you be posting pictures???

Dave said...

I have no idea what this post is about.

Gordie said...

Mother Nature is punishing you for losing all that weight. Eat more bacon butties. And buy some purple dye.